{blackout - a period of darkness caused by a failure of the electricity supply =power cut} Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the crowd. RachelEverybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(applause)
PhoebeThanks. Hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that's about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is really all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much. The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside. ChandlerOh, great. This is just...
(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.) Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there. RachelWow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
MonicaMom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on. {Boroughs of New York City}
RachelWow, you guys, this is big.
Monica(into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Can we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
PhoebeCan I borrow the phone? I wanna call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) Wait, what's my number?
(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)
PhoebeWell, I never call me. ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandle's thoughts are in [] Chandler[Oh my God, it's her.. it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.]
Jill(on phone) Hi Mom, it's Jill.
Chandler[She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (pause) Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!]
Jill(on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.
Chandler[Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.]
Jill(on phone) I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.
Chandler[Oh, some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.]
(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.) Monica's apartment, Joey enters with a menorah, the candles lit. JoeyHi everyone.
RossAnd officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani.
JoeyWell, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.
Phoebe(at window) Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
(They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.)
RachelOh, that had to hurt! ATM vestibule. Chandler[Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!]
(Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.)
Chandler[There you go!]
(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.)
Chandler[You're definitely scaring her.]
(Jill's phone rings and she answers it)
JillHello. Oh, hi, Mom. (listens) Mom, mom, you're tripping. Dexter's a dog. Well the blackout is scaring him. Well you'd pee in dad's shoes too if you didn't know what was going on. All right, call me back. (Hangs up) (To Chandler) Mothers!!!
ChandlerYeah! [Attaboy, a word. That wasn't so hard. "Mothers", "Yeah" "Mothers", "Yeah". Work it. (Smiles again at Jill) Don't smile!]
Jill(awkwardly) Uh, would you like to call somebody? (offering phone)
Chandler[Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with.] Yeah, thanks. (takes phone) Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler. MonicaHello?
ChandlerHey, it's me.
Monica(to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?
ChandlerYeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
MonicaWhat?
ChandlerI'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr!
MonicaI have no idea what you just said.
Chandler(angry) Put Joey on the phone.
JoeyWhat's up man?
ChandlerI'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth JLL GDCR.
Joey(to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
ChandlerYeah, like that thought never entered my mind. Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking. RachelSomebody, somebody.
MonicaAllright, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.
AllWhoooaa!
RossThat's my sister.
JoeyOK-OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York City public library.
MonicaOh my God! What were you doing in a library?
RossPheebs, what about you?
PhoebeOh... Milwaukee. (Everybody is easily confused). It's a really weird place.
RachelUm... Ross?
RossDisneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World' After All.
AllNo way!
RossYeah, the ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they-they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. So uh, well let's see, that would leave...
PhoebeOh, Rachel.
RachelOh come on, I already went.
MonicaYou did not go! Come on!
AllCome on. Tell us. Come on.
RachelOh, alright. The.... The weirdest place would have to be... (sigh)... oh, the foot of the bed.
RossStep back.
JoeyWe have a winner!
{They are talking about the weirdest place you've ever had sex at. In 720, Phoebe said, "Ok, it just seems pretty wild and you (Rachel) are so, you know so... vanilla." The guys are being sarcastic (saying things that are the opposite of what you mean).} Time lapse. Monica opens her refridgerator door which is obviously not working, meaning the light isn't on. PhoebeHey you know, this must be what the fridge looks like with the door closed. Spooky...(walks out of the kitchen)
MonicaAnybody hungry? We got a Klondike....(picks it up) soup. Cuts over to Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room. RachelI just never, had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where-where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
RossWell, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
RachelAlright well, see, I mean Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.
RossCome on.
RachelNo, he said we were holding up the people behind us.
Ross(sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?
RachelI mean, do you think there are people that go through life never having that kind of...
RossProbably.
RachelReally?
RossBut-but you know, I'll tell you some, passion is way overrated.
RachelYeah, right.
RossIt is. Eventually, it kinda... burns out. But, hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Rachel(sigh) OK.
RossBut, um... I-I don't think that's going to be you.
RachelYou don't.
RossMmm. See, I see.... uh, big passion in your future.
RachelReally?
RossMmmm.
RachelYou do?
RossI do.
RachelOh, Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)
(Ross gets up, pleased with himself.)
JoeyIt's never gonna happen.
Ross(innocently) What?
JoeyYou and Rachel.
Ross(acts surprised) What? Me, Ray? What? (pause) Why not?
JoeyBecause you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
RossNo, no, no. I'm not in the zone.
JoeyNo, Ross, you're mayor of the zone.
RossLook, I'm taking my time, alright? I'm-I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
JoeyPriesthood! Look, Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking.
RossOh yeah? She just ran her fingers through my hair. Were you missing that interaction?
JoeyNo-no-no-no-no-no. This is running fingers through your hair. (Demonstrates). Ok? Now this (lightly touches Ross' hair)...is a tousle. Look, if you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
RossI will, I will. I'm just, See, I'm waiting for the, the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What? Now?
JoeyYeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? Huh? You just gotta go up to her and you gotta say, 'Look, Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them)
RossShhhh!
RachelWhat are you shushing?
RossWe're shushing... because... we're, we're trying to, to hear something.
RachelWhat?
RossDon't you hear that?
RachelAhhhh!
RossSee?
RachelHuh. (she agrees, but looks very confused) ATM vestibule. JillWould you like some gum?
ChandlerOh, is it sugarless?
Jill(checks) Uh, sorry, it's not.
ChandlerOh, then no thanks. [What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.]
Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing. Phoebe(singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down.)
Ross(to Joey) OK, here goes.
JoeyYou're gonna do it?
RossI'm gonna do it.
JoeyYou want me to help?
RossYou come out there, you're a dead man.
JoeyGood luck, man.
RossThanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
JoeyOK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
JoeyHey, where are you going?
MonicaOutside.
JoeyNo-no-no, you can't go out there.
MonicaWhy not?
JoeyBecause of... the reason.
MonicaAnd that would be?
JoeyI, um, I can't tell you.
MonicaJoey, what's going on?
JoeyOK, listen, you gotta promise you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
MonicaAbout what?
JoeyHe's planning your birthday party.
MonicaOh my God! I love him!
Joey(as Phoebe enters) And you'd better act surprised.
PhoebeAbout what?
MonicaMy surprise party!
PhoebeWhat surprise party?
MonicaOh, stop it. Joey already told me.
PhoebeWell, he didn't tell me.
JoeyHey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing.
PhoebeThis is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.
MonicaNo, you are not. We tell you stuff.
PhoebeYuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Oh, oh, looks like I was second to last.
Joey(looks at Monica seductively and starts walking up to her) You uh, you had a crush on me?
MonicaAll right, it wasn't a crush. It was a....a dent.
JoeyBig dent?
MonicaAll right. Look, you were moving your furniture upstairs. I-I thought you had nice arms. (touches his right arm lightly) That's all! (goes to sit on the couch in the living room)
JoeyNice arms, huh? Hey, Mon. (picks up a chair) I'm moving the chair. Do anything for ya? Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking. RossYou know, with all the lights out, you can actually see the stars. (laughs a little)
RachelHmmm... so nice.
RossHey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... -ment.
RachelOK.
RossOK. Here goes. Um, well for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
RachelOhhh!!!! (looking at something behind Ross)
RossYes, yes, that's, that's right...
RachelOh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
RossWhat? (the cat jumps on his shoulders) Ow!
(Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.)
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe(singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since... {Top of the World - The Carpenters [Wiki]}
(Monica, Joey, and Phoebe continue to sing, with a longer sequence of Rachel and Ross trying to get the cat off of Ross' back. Ross is constantly trying to throw the cat off of his shoulder.) Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound. Monica(to Ross) All right, this is just Bactine. It won't hurt.
(Ross flinches in pain.)
JoeySorry, that was wax.
PhoebeOh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.
RossWhy don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
RachelDuring a blackout? She'll get trampled!
Ross(nonchalantly) Yeah? ATM vestibule. Chandler[All right, all right. Damage control. Get back to the gum.] You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) ['Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum, would be perfection.' Could've said 'gum would be nice,' could've said "I'll have a stick," but no-no-no-no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.] The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner. Rachel(stops at a door) Oh no, the Melman's, they hate all living things.
PhoebeOh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're uh looking for the owner.
Mr. HecklesEr, yeah, it's, it's mine.
Phoebe(trying to hold back the struggling cat) He seems to hate you. Are you sure?
Mr. HecklesYeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.
PhoebeNo, wait a minute. What's his name?
Mr. HecklesEhhhh... Bo-Buttons.
RachelBob Buttons?
Mr. HecklesMmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.
Phoebe(the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!
Mr. Heckles(as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
(Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.)
RachelHere, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty? kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty... come here.
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
RachelHi.
PaoloBuonasera.
RachelWow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out) Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at the rules for Monopoly, while Joey is playing around with his car game piece on the table. JoeyHey Mon, wanna go for a ride in my race car? (seductively) I'll bring my arms.
MonicaThat'd be nice. Then we could bring my wheelbarrow to carry your teeth.
(Joey gives up and throws his car back on the table.)
Ross(rolling) Come on, lucky sixes....
Rachel(entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Monica(smitten) Hi!
RachelAnd Joey....
MonicaHi!
RachelAnd-and Ross.
MonicaHi!
PaoloRagazzi, sono appena arrivato e vivo al piano di sotto, quindi ci vedremo molto spesso, penso..
Rachel(proudly) He doesn't speak much English.
Paolo(pointing at game) Monopoly!
RachelLook at that!
Ross(jealous) So, um... where did Paolo come from?
RachelOh... Italy, I think.
RossNo, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly, into our lives.
RachelWell, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat! Funny?
RossHuh, that, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
(Phoebe enters.)
PhoebeAlright. I looked all over the building and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.
RachelOh, I found him. It was Paolo's cat.
PhoebeAh! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.
RachelOh, Paolo, this is Phoebe.
PaoloPhoebe, anche tu bellissima. Se siete tutte cos belle mi trasferisco proprio qui. (he is apparently attracted to Phoebe)
Phoebe(smiling) You betcha! ATM vestibule. Chandler(chewing gum) [All right, Ok, what next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's good. It's got a... boyish charm, it's impish. Here we go.]
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Chandler[Nice going, imp. OK, OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it back in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.) Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... (grimacing) ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.]
(Chandler starts to choke.)
JillAre you alright?
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
JillMy God, you're choking! (she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum flies from his mouth) Better?
Chandler(gasping) Yes... thank you. That was... that was....
JillPerfection? Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Paolo are at the window. Ross and Joey are watching disgustedly. PaoloGuarda la luna, guarda le stelle... Guarda tutte le cose belle.
Ross(mocking Paolo) Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... blah blaaaaaah....
(Paulo runs his fingers through Rachel's hair).
Joey(To Ross) That, was no tousle.
(Rachel walks away from Paolo, laughing.)
RossHey, what did he say that was so funny?
RachelI have absolutely no idea.
RossThat's... that's classic.
Rachel(to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
MonicaIf you want, I'll do it.
(Ross looks at Joey.)
PhoebeI know, I just wanna bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.
RachelGod, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.
PhoebeYou know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... (they stare at her)... oh, it's not about that right now. OK.
RachelGod, you know, I know it's totally superficial and we have nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd....
(Cut to the other side of the apartment, Ross has gone over to straighten things out with Paolo.)
RossPaolo. Hi.
PaoloRoss!
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
RossListen. Um, listen, um, something you should... should know... um, Rachel and I are... we're kind of, kind of a thing.
PaoloThing?
RossThing, yes. Thing.
PaoloYou... have the sex?
RossNo. No-no. Technically the... the sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Well, Rachel and I should be, er, Well, Rachel and I should be, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
PaoloIn bed?
RossNo! Huh, no, not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
PaoloOh!
RossYeah! Do you... si vi ce?
Paolo!
RossSì?
PaoloSì!
RossSee you uh, you do know a little English.
PaoloPoco... a leetle.
RossDo you uh, do you know the word crapweasel?
PaoloYeah?
RossNo? That's funny, 'cause you are a huge crapweasel!
(They hug.) PaoloRoss.
ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head. JillChandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
ChandlerOK.
JillReady? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle) Ok? Now try it.
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
JillNo, you gotta whip it.
(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.) Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all sitting around the table. PhoebeOh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... (time lapse)... minus 46, minus 47, minus 48.... (someone blows it out, the room gets completely dark)
RossThank you.
PhoebeThanks.
RossKinda... spooky without any lights. 
Joey(does a maniacal laugh) Bwah-hah-hah!
(Everyone starts to imitate him.)
RossOK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah...
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.) Aww. ah
JoeyUh, Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica. ATM vestibule, the power has come back on. JillWell, this's been fun.
ChandlerYes. Yes, thanks for uh... letting me use your phone... and, for saving my life.
JillWell, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
(She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.)
ChandlerHi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.

Written by Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz; Transcribed by Ruth Curran; Added footage text by Matthew G; Annotated by ncp